Timeout involves placing your child on a chair for a short period of time following the occurrence of an unacceptable behavior. This procedure has been effective in reducing problem behaviors, such as tantrums, hitting, biting, failure to follow directions, etc. Parents have found that timeout works better than spanking, yelling or threatening their child. Timeout is useful for children from 18 months through 10 years of age.

Preparations for Timeout

Before you begin the timeout discipline procedure, you will need to make the following preparations:

Buy a small, portable kitchen timer.

• Select a place for timeout. This could be a chair in the hallway, kitchen or a corner of the room. The timeout area needs to be a dull place, not your child's bedroom where your child can play. The aim is to remove your child to a place where not much is happening, not to make your child afraid.
• You should discuss with your spouse which behaviors will result in timeout. Consistency is important. See previous section on "Guidelines for Setting Rules"

Before using timeout for discipline, you should practice using it with your child at a pleasant time.

Tell your child there are two rules when he is in timeout:

• Rule #1: The timer will start when he is quiet. Ask your child what will happen if he talks or makes noises when in timeout. Your child should say the timer will be reset or something similar. If he does not say this remind him of the rule.
• Rule #2: If he gets off the chair before the timer rings, replace him in the chair and reset the timer. Ask him if he wants to get off the chair and be placed in timeout again to learn this rule. Children usually decline this offer.

After explaining the rules and checking to be sure your child understands them, go through the steps in "Procedure for Timeout," (see below). Tell your child you are "pretending" this time.

Mention to your child that you will be using timeout instead of repeated yelling or threatening. Most children are pleased to hear this.

• Step #1: Following an inappropriate behavior, say to your child, "Oh, you did ________," and describe what your child did. For example, "You hit your sister. Go to timeout please." Say this calmly and only once. If your child has trouble getting to his timeout chair quickly, guide him with as little effort as possible. This can range from leading the child part of the way by the hand, to physically carrying the child all the way. If you have to carry your child to the timeout chair, be sure to hold him facing away from you so he does not confuse it with a hug.
• Step #2: When your child is on the timeout chair and quiet, set the timer for one minute per year of age. The maximum is five minutes. If your child makes noises, screams or cries, reset the timer. If your child gets off the chair, reset the timer. If you follow these procedures carefully, resetting the timer will rarely be necessary after about three days.
• Step #3: After your child has been quiet and seated for the required amount of time, the timer will ring. Go to the timeout chair and ask your child if he would like to get up. Do not speak to him from across the room. A nod of the head or a positive answer is the correct response from your child. If your child answers in an angry tone of voice or refuses to answer, this is unacceptable behavior and can indicate that your child is still angry. If your child is still angry, he will probably get into trouble in a short while. Should your child answer in an angry tone or refuse to answer, reset the timer and place him in timeout again. Your child may then answer appropriately, but once the timer is reset it must go to the full amount of time. You are the one who should decide when your child gets out of the timeout chair, not your child.
• Step #4: As soon as your child gets off the timeout chair, you should ask if he wishes to repeat the behavior which led him there in the first place. For example, "Would you like to hit your sister again so I can put you back in timeout and you can learn the rule?" Usually children say, "No," or shake their head. You can then say, "I am happy you don't want to hit your sister." If your child should take you up on this offer and repeat the unacceptable behavior, calmly put him in timeout. Although this may sound like you are daring your child to misbehave, it is better if he repeats the behavior in your presence. This way, your child will have several opportunities to learn that unacceptable behaviors result in timeout.
• Step #5: After your child finishes a timeout period, he should start with a "clean slate." You should not discuss, remind or nag him about the misbehavior. Within five minutes after a timeout, look for and praise good behavior. It may be wise to take your child to a different part of the house and start a new activity. Remember, "catch 'em being good."

Parents should remember:

• Decide what behaviors you will use for timeout.
• Discuss these with your child.
• Don't leave your child in timeout and forget about him.
• Don't nag or scold him while he is in timeout. All family members should follow this rule.
• Remain calm, particularly when your child is being testy.
• Children should remember:
• Go immediately to timeout when asked. Don't argue.
• Remain quiet and stay on the timeout chair until you are asked to step down. This way you'll spend less time there.
• Children cannot touch the timer. If you touch it, you will be placed in timeout.

Siblings should remember:

• If you tease, laugh at or talk with your brother while he is in timeout, you will be placed in the chair and your brother will step down.